Wednesday, March 31, 2004
"For once, the good smell comes from Steve." --Doug
"John Weber sounds like ass." --Heather
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
"My toes are unsually long." --Sprogway
"I don't trust that milkshake." --McCann
Monday, March 29, 2004
"I'm much nicer in the dark." --Sprogway
"If it makes you grin, put it in." --Clear Channel
"When in doubt, take it out." --Clear Channel
Thursday, March 25, 2004
"Is your last name Sprague?" --Joe
1) "I eat lots of broccoli, so fuck you." --Steve
2) "Put that in the fucking book, fucker." --Steve
2) "Put that in the fucking book, fucker." --Steve
"Fannypack-wearing motherfucker." --Steve to Sprogway
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
"What I'd like to do is get a business that cuts kids' hair...and have toys around and stuff."--Erich
"She was 16 when she made...my ass." --McCann
"It's like On the Waterfront all in one person." --Lee
"He's got a hairstyle like a mental patient." --Sprogway on Nick Stern
"I love grain as much as the next guy." --Doug
"Dude, I love the fucking soothing sounds of the cello." --Doug
"Sweet lemon jesus!" --Steve
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
"Demerol is my friend." --Mogway (on phone)
"I can't mail popcorn." --Heather
Monday, March 22, 2004
"Vinnie's car is hooked up better than studio 5." --Joe
"Erich's in an NRA fantasy league." --Doug
"You have to be the swooper, not the swoopee." --Andrew
"Nothing says success like pants around your ankles." --Sprogway
"All the Chinese action heroes are at least as old as you." --Erich to Sprogway
Friday, March 19, 2004
"Erich's the new Murray Head." --Steve
1) "I want to date a 60-year-old." --Erich
2) "If you were a woman, you could date Mick Jagger." --Sprogway
2) "If you were a woman, you could date Mick Jagger." --Sprogway
1) "Why would you care about the weather in Yuma?"--Steve
2) "Because he has a good sense of Yuma." --Sprogway
2) "Because he has a good sense of Yuma." --Sprogway
"You, my friend, have not spent enough time in the laundry business." --Sprogway
"She looks like she's got an udder, not a breast." --Jamila
Thursday, March 18, 2004
"I hit the motherlode when my friend Bill joined AA." --Sprogway
"I got a lot of girls in college because I wore eye makeup." --Sprogway
"How come we never see baby pigeons?" --Sprogway
"He's from Texas, not West Virginia." --Sprogway on Erich
"Nothing says cleanliness like adult diapers." --Lee
"I guess he just goes by 'Bucks' Burnett now." --Erich
"Ow, it hurts!" --Joe
"I've got two selfish Jappy daughters." --McCann
1) "A Catholic can always kick a Baptist's ass." --Sprogway
2) "We try to maintain the separation of church and quote list." --Doug
2) "We try to maintain the separation of church and quote list." --Doug
"Its like closing the barn doors after the horse ran out." --McCann
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
1) "I'm a generous man." --Erich
2) "You're a fucking fool." --Lee
2) "You're a fucking fool." --Lee
"Now you're gonna smell like a girl!" --Jamila
1) "Rebecca Gayheart was once a high class hooker." --Chris
2) "Do you have the receipts?" --Erich
2) "Do you have the receipts?" --Erich
1) "Brett Ratner is a fat whoremonger." --Erich
2) "Hey, I resembl;e that remark." --Steve
2) "Hey, I resembl;e that remark." --Steve
"Now it smells like you're blowing a chicken in here." --Erich
"I've gotta throw this shirt out the window--all I can smell is my own grease." --Chris
"Hey, I had a natural hat trick." --Sprogway
"Sal likes meaningless." --Sprogway
"She's going to have to have an abortion on stage." --Ira on Janet Jackson
"If Jerry Garcia had a middle finger, he'd give it to you." --Sprogway
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
"Tuesday is the lamest day of all." --Sprogway
"Next to drinking, its my favorite bad habit." --Sprogway on gambling
"I got the deal...I got the only deal." --Chris
"All babies look like Helen Hunt." --Sprogway
Monday, March 15, 2004
"Its the Steve Reynolds dancers!" --Heather
"I'm always the right Mike." --McCann
"Pretty soon he'll be dead longer than he's been alive." --Erich
"Dollars are very valuable. They buy me goods and services." --Steve
"Steve, I don't want to take a feel!" --Doug
"Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt touring together? That's gonna be one bad-ass buffett." --Lee
"Maybe I'll stop in New Paltz and marry a gay guy." --Doug
"The office environment gives me the structure that I crave." --Erich
Friday, March 12, 2004
"I flushed again to make sure something bizarre didn't come out of my ass." --Steve
"People in New Jersey had the mullet since the days of Rome." --Steve
"I fucked up my knee curling." --Doug
"I invented the mullet." --Ira
"I can pretty much only be a dirtbag." --Sprogway
"I love yacht fires." --Andrew
Thursday, March 11, 2004
"Cynthia Weill is on line. Sam Moore is on line. Wink Martindale's wife is on line." --McCann
"Anything you can do to a boil should not be a name." --Doug
"He's short, he's a prick." --Sprogway on Ian Astbury
"Is Sarah Harmer a lesbian? I see her poster up in lesbian places." --Erich
"Sprogway is the new Justin Hawkins." --Andrew
"If it wasn't for the wife and kids, that open window would be a ticket to eternal bliss." --Wills
"I am the Rock Era, Erich." --Ira
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
"Gladys doesn't want to do interviews. Who the bleep is she?" --McCann
"Dave Sprague is the new Josh Freese." --Andrew
"How's that banana working for you Doug?" --Wills
"Gladys doesn't want to do interviews. Who the bleep is she?" --McCann
"Dave Sprague is the new Josh Freese." --Andrew
"How's the banana working for you Doug?" --Joe
"Tittie is cute." --Erich
"I've seen them live, they scare me, I'm gonna go to the bathroom." --Sprogway
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
"They had to put in a new hole for him to be screwed." --Steve
Monday, March 08, 2004
"She has a body that puts Mary Wilson to shame." --McCann
"I've had a lot of practice playing Whack the Gopher." --Joe
Friday, March 05, 2004
"I had a more fun weekend with Maxine Nightingale, and she is gorgeous." --McCann
"If I won Mega Millions, I'd get whores." --Steve
"Don't frown over fruit?" --Azar
"If you had diahrea, I could help you out." --Erich
"Where do you work?" --Chris to Erich
"I got my refund, so I doubled my bacon." --Steve
"John Ashcroft! Yeah! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!" --Steve
Thursday, March 04, 2004
1) "I think I heard Cousin Bruce say 'heck' the other day." --Doug
2) "Really? I heard him say 'cock-sucking motherfucker.'" --Andrew
2) "Really? I heard him say 'cock-sucking motherfucker.'" --Andrew
"Maurice Miner, Michael Azar and Janeane Otten--three great men." -Chris
1) "I'm pregnant." --Erich
2) "Who's the mommy?" --Heather
3) "My hand." --Erich
2) "Who's the mommy?" --Heather
3) "My hand." --Erich
"Who's the guy the turban? have you seen that guy?" --Erich
"I think we can all agree that Maurice is an arrogant twat." --Ira
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
"Dave is the new Xena." --Steve
"I'm not going from Azar to Aris." --Doug
"What day this week start on, Monday?" --Doug
"MJI is the new vegetarian restuarant." --Steve
"I hate that Paul Newman." --Erich
"This was a walk on the mild side." --Erich
"Ay Carabba." --Sprogway
"In San Francisco, you can marry ideas." -- Lee
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
"Erich is the new old man." --Steve
"I hate her. I wish she was Siegfriend and Roy." --Erich, on Rosie O'Donnell
"You fucking want it or you don't fucking want it?" --Lee
"That whole bonus thing really chaps my heinie." --Erich
"People want to see knobs." --Azar
Monday, March 01, 2004
"That's very nice. I might bite off you." --Heather
"Everything that can possibly be wrong with a person is wrong with me." --Erich, from home
